A teacher of mine once said, “Life is a ritual, not an obligation.” This is a quote that I will never forget and always continue to infuse into my teachings. I wake up each morning, pour my hot cup of coffee, and I sit. I close my eyes, and I look within mySelf to find that all I have ever needed and wanted is already in me.
Then, my four year old wakes up, runs into the living room, and no longer is it about me or my morning ritual. It is time to turn on, be a mom, a wife, a teacher, a friend, a person who lives in the outside world. This is where life begins to get a little more complex. I am confronted with how to teach my daughter to think for herself, how to lead my Yoga class in a way that leaves each student feeling successful in their bodies and minds, and how to respond when the world creates obstacles rather than react.
To live in the world is an obstacle. This is my realization at 35 years old. Thank God that I have found tools that can help me move through this path/journey/adventure with a little less resistance. One of the many tools is the book The Four Agreements written by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book teaches us to challenge our belief system that is so deeply embedded in us. “Even if we know we didn’t choose all these beliefs, it is also true that we agreed to them. The agreement is so strong that even if we understand the concept of it not being true, we feel the blame, the guilt, and the shame that occur if we go against these rules.”
Anyone else feel this?
The book goes on to explain that to adopt the new agreements, we must have a strong will. “…but if you can begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life will be amazing.” When I read this, my intuition shouted at the top of her lungs, YES!
Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements are:
Be Impeccable with Your Word
When I think of this agreement, I think power. Words are power; The power to create, to manifest, to change and to evolve. Words are a path to freedom.
“When you are impeccable you take responsibility for your actions…” (pg. 31)
You learn to transcend fear and deepen your relationship with love. This is how to live truthfully and with compassion for yourself and others. Be Impeccable with Your Word.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
As a woman, this one speaks to me on a mental, physical, and emotional level. As hard as I try not to take anything personally, I as a woman am innately wired to be emotional. To think, speak, and live more from the heart then the head, and I say this in the most positive way. With that said, I am reminded of a mantra, “It’s not about me.” In every situation if we can apply this mantra, then nothing becomes personal.
“Nothing other people do is about you, it’s about themselves.” (pg. 48)
“When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.” (pg. 48)
All this does is create unnecessary suffering. It is already the human condition to look to the outer world for inner happiness, which in turn creates a cycle of dissatisfaction. If we can break our old patterns/agreements that trap us in the cycle of unhappiness, we can then move through this path of life with the heart wide open.
Don’t Make Assumptions
“We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real.” (pg. 63)
This becomes our reality, which at its core, is false. This again creates unnecessary suffering. We then see how each agreement builds off of the first. If we are impeccable with our word, it’s less likely that we take things personally and also less likely we will make assumptions. We will live in truth, speak the truth, and see the truth in all things.
“This is the path to personal freedom.” (pg. 74)
Always Do Your Best
Since I was little my dad always told me, “Every day in every way, you will get better.” I didn’t realize until later how important this statement would become in my life. Every day in every way, you will get better. This is not putting expectations on what better looks like, it is a motto, an engrained moment in time that feels relatable, accessible, and understandable.
If we always do our best in every arena of our life, then we are living fully, presently, and best of all there are no regrets. How can there be, if we always do our best? “When you do your best you learn to accept yourself. But you have to be aware and learn from your mistakes. Learning from your mistakes means you practice, look honestly at the results, and keep practicing.”(pg 81) Practice makes practice. Best is not defined as perfection, rather doing your best feels enjoyable and makes you happy. It is not a have to, want to, or need to. Doing your best is taking action because you enjoy the action. “Taking action is being alive. It’s taking the risk to go out and express your dream.” (pg 82)
By living within the fourth agreement, you then become aware that each agreement is as important as the one before. All you have to do is make this agreement today, “I choose to honor the Four Agreements.”(pg 88) It is as simple as that. Choose to live a life more full, and choose to transform into the best version of yourSelf.
These all sound simple, right? The truth is they are simple, yet so powerful. This is why I have incorporated them into the foundation of Goddess Yoga Village. They are a way of life, a way to live happier, freer, and compassionate to your core. They are pillars to healing your past traumas, and will illuminate your best version of Self.
As a Village, we can help each other stay accountable by embodying these agreements, and encouraging all women to step into their innate Divine Feminine Power, to have the courage to transform our whole dream and watch as the magic unfolds.
